Boyfriend
by Vance McGill
Summary: Hermione Granger just unceremoniously announced that Ron Weasley was her boyfriend in front of her annoying, boy-obsessed, beautiful cousin! Only one problem... he isn't! Full summary inside. Ron/Hermione, with brief appearances of Harry/Ginny, Remus/Tonks, and Bill/Fleur. Post OoTP (mixed with AU and Canon); No Horcruxes. Rating may rise later.
1. Slip Of The Tongue

**Title: Boyfriend  
Summary: **Hermione Granger is having a dreadful start to her summer. All she wanted to do was work on her summer homework, and begin her early studies for her seventh year at Hogwarts. However she didn't plan on two things: 1) Her annoying, boy obsessed, beautiful Muggle cousin visiting for the summer and 2) Ron Weasley's unexpected visit. Oh, and then there's the fact that she unceremoniously announced that Ron was her boyfriend! Only one problem... he isn't!  
**Rating**: T  
**Ships: **Ron/Hermione, and briefly Harry/Ginny, Remus/Tonks, and Bill/Fleur  
**Warnings: Post OoTP (mixed with AU and Canon); No Horcruxes**

**Disclaimer: **J.K Rowling owns the characters and the world of Harry Potter. I do not. I just write stories based on her lovely books. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Note**: **This story is AU, mixed with some canon. There are no Horcruxes, and the trio has no plans to skip out on their seventh year. This story is inspired by Molly Raesly's James/Lily tale, "Boyfriend"**

**IMPORTANT: For those wondering when my next chapter of "Bonds of Time II: Fighting Fate" will be up, I promise to update it before too long. A plot bunny made me start writing this, and this story should be fairly short anyway, so it won't distract me too much from other priorities.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**  
**Slip Of The Tongue**

_"The Patronus Charm was created by Hubert The Humble in the late fourteenth century, after the first sighting of Dementors in the hills of Norway. For many weeks prior to the discovery of these Dark creatures, the village of Mo I Rana had been plagued by bouts of depression and what had once been known as "frozen death." This term was coined after a body was discovered in the village. The body was frozen stiff, its jaw wide open and lips a dark blue. It was later discovered that "frozen death" was caused by a Dementor's Kiss and -"_

"Hermione, where are you?"

I groaned and slammed my Defense textbook down on my bed. Can't a studious girl get some peace around here for once?!

I hate her. _I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!_ Why did my parents have to go to a Dentist's convention in Ireland and leave me with _her!_

I narrowed my eyes at my bedroom door as it opened with a bit of force. Standing there was the current bane of my existence.

I was very much looking forward to the summer holidays. My parents had sent me a letter informing me that they would be very busy for the first couple of weeks of my summer holiday. I was okay with that. I could just spend that time alone at my house, and get an early start on my summer homework, and possibly get in some early studying for my seventh year classes.

But, no! They somehow forgot to inform me that I would not be home alone! Much to my surprise, when I walked out of the secret entrance to Platform Nine-And-Three Quarters and found my cousin there, looking around and waiting for me. I almost keeled over in shock. I hadn't seen my cousin in nearly seven years, not since I found out I was a witch. She is a Muggle, and like the rest of my Muggle relations, aside from my parents, does not know that I am a witch! I was sure she had seen me appear in front of a wall without explanation. But to my relief, apparently she just assumed I had come from a train and she hadn't seen me.

She informed me, as we drove to my house in Oxford in her elegant looking convertible, that my parents had asked her if she could stay with me for a couple weeks. Ha! Like I need a babysitter! Even if I did need one, she is far from being the best chaperone in the world. She is less than a year older than me, so she isn't the best source of "adult supervision." Also, there is the fact that, according to my Aunt and Uncle, she is a wild child, and someone who Molly Weasley would probably call a "scarlet woman"! Oh, yes, and as I mentioned, she has no clue I am a witch!

Thanks, Mum and Daddy, for your brilliant choice of _babysitter!_

My cousin is named Rose. And like the popular type of flower she was named after, she is quite beautiful, much to my chagrin. She definitely gets her looks from her mother, because neither my Mum, or Uncle – or me for that matter – has good enough genes to be that beautiful! She has straight blonde hair that reaches the middle of her back, and beautiful blue eyes. Really, she could be a model. She's almost as beautiful as Fleur Delacour, which peeves me to no end.

Thank Merlin I can legally use magic in the Muggle world without being hounded by the Improper Use of Magic Office. Because as soon as I got home, I had placed charms on all of my magical things so she wouldn't see them, and notice something odd.

"Hermione, there you are!" Rose whined, "I'm bored!"

"Really?" I asked, doing my best not to roll my eyes.

"Yes!" Rose said, "Isn't there anything to fun do around here?"

"You could watch the telly," I said, "Or, I don't know... read a book?"

Just not any of mine, because most of mine are magical subjects.

Rose glared at me as if I had gone mental. Which, to be honest, isn't that much of a stretch since she arrived.

"I _meant," _Rose said, "Isn't there anything to do here in Oxrford?"

"Like what, for example?" I asked.

"Places to hang out!" Rose said, "Lay back, have fun... meet boys?"

I blinked and blushed. "Boys?"

"Yes, boys!" Rose said, grinning, "You must know some good spots around here to meet boys. I bet the blokes of Oxford can't get enough of you! I mean, you're gorgeous!"

I am sad to say my jaw dropped to the floor. Excuse me? Did I hear that right? Did Miss Runway Model slash Scarlet Woman call me _gorgeous?_

"I – I – err –- well -" I was stammering. Oh, Merlin, help me, I was stammering!

I cleared my throat and tried to get a hold of myself.

"I'm not that pretty," I mumbled.

Oh, Merlin, my big mouth! Did I just say that to my cousin?

Is she... is she... she's laughing at me! Oh, I wish I could sink into my bed. Maybe I should grab my wand, and Disillusion myself. Damn the consequences, so what if she finds out I'm a witch. I can Disillusion myself, and run away! Maybe Hogwarts will let me stay there for the summer. Or maybe... the Burrow! I am going there in a few weeks anyway for a wedding! Yes, the Burrow sounds lovely.

She must have seen me react, because she abruptly stopped laughing.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm sorry," Rose said, "I didn't mean to laugh."

"Doesn't matter," I said, shrugging my shoulders, "A lot of people laugh at me."

A frown crossed Rose's lips, and she walked over to my bed and sat down at the end of it.

"Why ever should they laugh at you?" Rose asked.

"I'm too smart for my own good," I muttered, "I'm a know-it-all."

I don't know why I am suddenly admitting all of this to my cousin. Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a bit. Only the Slytherins laugh at me and make fun of me.

"Oh, Hermione," Rose said, "I'm sure there are a lot of people who like you. You have friends, right?"

I nodded. "I have a few. Some of whom are very good friends."

"Obviously they must not think you're just a know-it-all," Rose said.

"Not anymore," I muttered.

"Oh, come now, _mi cherie," _Rose said.

Oh, yes, did I forget to mention she's from France? She doesn't have much of a French accent, and Merlin knows she speaks much better English than Fleur Delacour. Probably because her father, my Uncle is English.

"I'm sure there are some people – boys – who think you are pretty," Rose said.

I shrugged. Okay, so Viktor Krum thought I was pretty. Cormac McLaggen seemed to think I was pretty – but I'd more or less like to forget about McLaggen since all he wanted to do was snog me without getting to know me. The git!

"I'm average," I said, "There are far prettier girls at my school than I."

Like Lavender Brown, that pig! Why _he_ had to snog her is beyond me!

"I happen to think you are very pretty," Rose said.

Merlin, help me. I blushed.

"I mean, if I was not your cousin, and not into boys," Rose said, "I think I'd be attracted to you."

"Rose!" I groaned.

Rose giggled. "You know what you need? A make-over."

"Ex-excuse me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Excuse moi?" Rose mocked in French, then grinned, "A make-over. With my help, you'll have boys falling over for you. They'll bow on bended knee for you."

"I – I'm not sure," I stammered, then cleared my throat. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Nonsense," Rose said, "It'll be fun!"

"Maybe later," I said; mentally crossing my fingers. "I have studying to do."

"Oh study, cruddy!" Rose groaned, "See, this is why those fools called you a know-it-all. You need to do more than study! You need to have fun! Come on, let's go meet boys! They'll fall heads over heels for us when they see us in my car!"

"Rose," I groaned, "I need to study. Please?"

Rose sighed and stood up. "Fine. For now. But we're not wasting these two weeks here with studying. I haven't seen you in years, Hermione! We need some girl time!"

I frowned. "Later, I said. I need to work on my summer homework."

"Ugh," Rose said. "Okay... I'll just go downstairs."

"You know, I don't need a babysitter," I said, "You could go out on the town by yourself."

"Where's the fun in that?" Rose asked, "Besides, I might get lost. I don't know this town."

I groaned. "We'll go out later. For now... I don't know... go do something."

"Fine," Rose said, "But I will hold you to your promise!"

Before I could say I didn't promise anything, Rose left my room and headed downstairs. I groaned again, this time loudly. Just what I need to ruin my summer. I didn't need her telling me I'm gorgeous! I didn't need her goading me to go out on the town and find boys. There are plenty of boys at my school. I could get dates. I just don't want to. I need to study and look forward to my NEWT exams.

Besides, if I didn't study, and worried about boys, I would definitely not be in the running for Head Girl. Not that I know I will get the title. But still... there's a good chance.

Yes. That's me. Studious, know-it-all, possible future Head Girl. I don't need boys! I have no use for boys right now! Besides, nobody fancies me! And even if they did, I wouldn't fancy them back.

Well... maybe... except for...

No! No, I do not need the distraction of boys. I have NEWTs to worry about.

Study, Hermione. Now! There you go, pick up the book.

I picked up my Defense book and continued studying, preparing myself for my Defense homework for the summer: Dementors and the Patronus Charm. Sure, I've done the Patronus Charm a few times since I learned it about a year and a half ago. But the essay called for detailed descriptions and the history of the Patronus Charm. Not the practical part of it.

Okay, Hermione. Study. Essay. Now.

* * *

"Hermione!" Rose's voice called out.

I groaned and rolled the piece of parchment into a ball and tossed it in the bin where dozen others sat. I am going to kill my cousin. Azkaban and Death Eaters and Dementors, here I come. Even before she called my name out, did I want to kill her. Damn her for putting these distractions in my head. I have never _ever _had to do any rewrites of essays, and here I've had to start over ten times... at least!

If you unrolled and read through what I had already on those pieces of parchment, you'd start reading about Patronus Charms, and Dementors, and then suddenly you're reading about pretty girls or stupid boys or make-over ideas... or just reasons to kill my stupid cousin!

I glanced at my digital clock sitting on the corner of my desk. Three hours. Three hours since Rose decided to have girl talk with me. I've been doing this for three hours and have gotten nowhere!

I wonder if I am mad enough to do the Killing Curse.

"Hermione!" Rose called out.

"WHAT?!" I growled.

"Wow, cousin, who got into your knickers?" Rose asked, appearing in the doorway of my bedroom.

I growled and gave her the _death stare. _Where is my bloody wand?

"What do you want?" I asked.

"There's a very cute boy standing outside in the yard," Rose said, "Why didn't you tell me you knew boys that were absolutely hot?!"

I froze. A boy was here? Nobody knows where I live. My best friends kind of do, but they don't know my exact address or the street I live on. They've never been here.

Wait... not true. Viktor knows where I live. He met my parents the summer after my fourth year before I went to Sirius' house. What is Viktor doing here? Unless it isn't Viktor...

Rose walked into my room, and across over to the window.

"What are you doing?!" I asked.

"Shh!" Rose said, "I want another look, and you have a good view of the front yard."

A part of me was dying to know who was standing in my yard. However, another part was screaming _no! _That part of my mind immediately threw up warning signs and pamphlets I had brought home after my fifth year. Warnings of danger. Warnings of people in disguises using Polyjuice Potion. Warnings of Death Eaters.

"Rose, get away from the window!" I hissed.

"Why?" Rose asked, "The boy is cute – aw, where did he go? I was hoping he was one of your friends, because he was very good looking and -"

The doorbell rang. Oh Merlin. I started to panic. Someone was standing at my door. Here I was, thinking of danger and Death Eaters –

Wait a damn second. Death Eaters did not use doorbells! They barged in without care!

So who in the bloody hell is at my door?

Rose gasped. "It is probably him! Oh, I need to meet him! Come on!"

Rose rushed out of the room. I growled and grabbed my wand, and pocketed it, hoping I didn't regret it. Then I stood up and ran out of my room and down the stairs. Rose was standing at the door.

"Move, you idiot!" I snarled.

"Don't worry," Rose said, grinning, I'll give you first dibs at him if you know him."

I glared at her, then put my hand on the doorknob. I inhaled and exhaled, ready to grab my wand at the first sight of danger. Then I opened the door.

And found Ron Weasley standing on my doorstep.

I froze right on the spot. What was Ron doing here? How did he know where I live? How –

_Oh bloody hell. _What if it wasn't him? Focus, Hermione, ask him something only he would know.

"Stop!" I said, as his mouth opened, probably to greet me. "What is my favorite book about?"

"Er,, what?" Ron asked, "Oh, right, security question... the history of our school, right?"

I sighed and nodded. Ron looked over my shoulder, and I realized Rose was behind me.

"Er... hello!" Ron said.

"Well, Hermione," Rose said, "Who is this dish?"

I glared over my shoulder. I remembered how she said I would get first dibs. Which meant she wanted second. How she said he was cute, how he was 'absolutely hot'.

No... no way. There was no way she was going to get her paws on Ron Weasley_. _Not him.

"Ron, this is Rose, my cousin," I said, sweetly, "Rose, this is Ron Weasley... my boyfriend."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I heard Rose gasp in shock. I saw her jaw drop. Yeah, that's right, scarlet woman, he's my...

It was like a brick wall slammed into me at seventy miles per hour. It was only then did I realize exactly what I had said. Exactly what the implications were.

I turned to Ron. His expression was mixed with euphoria and a bit of confusion. Then his lips twisted into a smug smile.

I knew then Ron was going to say something. He was going to deny it. Rose was going to find out I'm a big fat liar. She was going to think I was jealous! Or desperate! I couldn't have that. So I did the only conceivable thing I could think of.

I kissed him.

* * *

**Sorry for such a short first chapter. Short chapters might be a pattern with this story. We'll see.**

**If you are familiar with Molly Raesly's tale "Boyfriend", you might see some similarities between that story and this one. Big difference is that this story is a Hermione and Ron tale. Obviously.**

**Now... just because Hermione called him her boyfriend, does not mean the romance starts off swell right off the bat. No! Hermione and Ron are still both unaware of how the other one feels. Hermione only is doing this because she doesn't want her totally beautiful, boy-obsessed cousin to have him. Sure, Ron could admit right off the bat how he feels about her, but there will be factors at play that self-conscious Ron will not like. This is also a tale about how he'll get over that.**

**So, how do you like my OC Rose so far? She'll be a big part of this story, and there might be some surprises about her. We'll see.**

**Let the fun begin!**


	2. Explanations

**Chapter 2  
Explanations**

On the cheek.

I could have kicked myself. I could have hexed myself. Or my cousin. Or Ron.

Why did I say that?

_"This is Ron Weasley... my boyfriend."_

I meant _best friend. _Stupid, stupid mouth! That dirty betrayer of a mouth!

Trying not to panic, I did the next best thing I could think of. I hugged him, putting my arms around his neck and leaned my lips toward his ear.

"Play along," I whispered.

I released my arms and backed up, then looked at my cousin, who still looked shocked beyond belief.

"Is there a problem, Rosie?" I asked, using a nickname I know she did not like.

She looked at me with wide-eyes then looked at Ron and cleared her throat.

"My cousin failed to mention she had such a hot-looking bloke as a boyfriend," she said, "I was wondering why she was refusing to go out on the town and look for hot boys. Why didn't you say so, Mione?"

I narrowed my eyes. How dare she call me by that nickname? Only my Daddy could use that name! I ignored her and turned to Ron. He seemed to be staring at me, and I suddenly could hear the cogs turning in his mind. Of course he would be shocked to think I'd go out on the town hunting for boys.

"Come on in, Ron," I said, pulling on his arm and tugging him inside. I shut the door behind him. "Let's go up to my room for a bit."

Ron's eyebrows raised and I kicked myself mentally. Oh Merlin, what he must be thinking! First I call him my boyfriend, then kiss him on the cheek, and I am now inviting him to my bedroom!

Ron coughed. "Erm... sure! If your cousin doesn't mind."

I looked over at my cousin and raised an eyebrow questioningly. She suddenly grinned widely.

"I don't mind at all," Rose said, "In fact, it is just what she needs. Someone to take her mind off of her books. Go have fun with your man, cousin. I'll wait as long as it takes." Then she added sweetly, in a sing-song voice. "Play safe!"

It was my turn to gape. Did my cousin just imply that Ron and I were – oh, you little scarlet woman! I turned to Ron and saw that his face was almost as red as his hair. His ears were that color already. Oh, Merlin, she embarrassed him! I grabbed Ron's arm, so I wouldn't grab my wand and hex my cousin, and dragged him up the stairs. Neither of us said a word until we got into my room and I shut my door. I took my wand out of my pocket, and Ron raised his eyebrows. Apparently the idiot thought I was going to curse him. I turned and pointed it at the door.

"Muffliato!" I whispered.

"Thought you didn't approve of that spell," Ron said.

"Times change," I muttered.

I pocketed my wand and immediately reality set in.

"Oh, Merlin!" I moaned, as I paced back and forth across my bedroom floor, "What did I just do? What did I –?"

I stopped, turned on my heel and glared at Ron.

"What are you doing here?!" I demanded.

"Er... you dragged me in here," Ron said.

"Not in here," I said, flustered, "I meant my house, damn it!"

Ron stared at me for a moment, then snorted. "Hermione, you swore!"

"I'll swear again, Ron Weasley!" I exclaimed, "What the bloody hell are you doing here? You could have sent Pig! You could have warned me!"

"Erm – I -" Ron stammered, rubbing his neck.

"How do you even know where I live?" I asked.

I know it was a weird question, given the fact he's one of my best friends. I mean, I know where three of my best friends live. I've never been to one of their houses, but I've been to the Burrow, where two of my best friends – Ron and his sister – live. I guess it is weird I never exactly told my best friends where I live.

"Dad," Ron said, "He looked up your address at the Ministry. The Order wants to put up protective wards around the houses of its members."

"The Order?" I asked, "I thought since Headmaster Dumbledore -"

I paused and inhaled. It had only been a few days since Professor Dumbledore was murdered, and it was still hard to talk about out loud.

"Oh – erm – Mad-Eye is the leader at the moment," Ron shrugged, Interim, anyway, until there's a vote."

"What does this have to do with my house?" I asked.

"I asked Dad if the Order could put protective wards up around your house," Ron said, then shrugged, "For your protection. For your parents, you know."

My heart suddenly swelled two sizes. If I hadn't just accidentally called Ron my boyfriend, if I hadn't kissed him on the cheek, I might have kissed him right then and there. He was so sweet to think of something like that.

Of course I wasn't going to tell him that.

"That's not necessary, Ron," I said.

"Yes it is!" Ron snarled; then he coughed and looked at his feet. "Sorry. Didn't mean to say it like that."

"No offense taken," I said; I was used to his outbursts, it takes a lot from him to phase me these days, "But Ron..."

"No," Ron said, looking back at me, "It is necessary. Reports say that Voldemort is going to target Muggles and Muggleborn. Do you honestly think I'd just let you-?"

"Let me do what?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Let you and your parents stay here all summer in danger with those bastards around hunting Muggles and Muggleborn?" Ron asked.

"I can defend myself and my parents," I said, "I don't need the Order. I don't need you -"

Ron suddenly frowned. "Really? Well, I guess I should leave. So long..."

He made to leave the room and the house, but I grabbed his arm and looked at him.

"Ron, I didn't mean it like that!" I said, almost in a pleading, begging tone, "Of course I need you. You're my best friend."

"Really?" Ron asked, "Because from what happened downstairs, it sounds like I'm your boyfriend now."

My jaw dropped and he looked at me smugly. The last time I had seen that look on his face was when Lavender Brown snogged him.

"I-I distinctly remember telling you to play along," I said, "What do you think that means?"

"How I am supposed to know?" Ron asked, "I rarely understand what mental spew comes out of your mouth."

I glared at Ron and crossed my arms. "What are you doing here? Surely if it was just about wards, your Dad or someone from the Ministry would be here instead!"

"Nope," Ron said, grinning, "Not saying a word until you tell me why you called me your boyfriend. I mean, like you said, you wanted me to play along. I think I deserve an explanation."

I frowned and walked past him, then sat down on my bed.

"I did it just to annoy my cousin," I said.

Okay, that is the honest truth. I did want to annoy her. She dared to call my best friend 'hot'.

"I haven't seen her in many years, not since I found out I was a witch," I said, "She's a Muggle, her dad is my Uncle. My parents went to Ireland for a dentist's convention, and Rose picked me up at the station."

"She was at Platform Nine-and-Three Quarters?" Ron asked, incredulously.

"No, she was waiting near the entrance of it," I said, "I guess she assumed I was either coming from Platform Nine or Ten. Anyway, she picked me up at the station and drove me home. Apparently she's my babysitter." I scoffed. "She's not even a year older than me. And she's horrible!"

"She didn't sound so horrible," Ron said, "Actually, she reminds me of Fred and George."

I snorted. "What makes you think so?"

"She likes joking around," Ron said, "I mean – for a babysitter, she has no problem with you inviting a boy to your room."

I glared at Ron. "Exactly what I mean! Three hours ago, she wanted to give me a make-over! She said she was bored and wanted to go out on the town and look for boys! She asked me if I knew any cute boys around here -"

"Do you?" Ron asked.

I blinked. Exactly what was he implying?

"No, I don't," I said.

"Do you know any cute boys at all?" he asked, grinning.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Two can play that game. "Nope, not at all," I answered playfully.

Ron frowned and sank into the chair at my desk.

"Ron, I'm only making fun," I said; really, I felt bad for the poor bloke.

Besides, he is cute. Not that I am going to admit that!

"Where was I?" I asked, suddenly realizing I was getting distracted.

"You were explaining to me why your cousin has something to do with you calling me your boyfriend," Ron said.

"Right," I said, "Well, she keeps going on and on about boys. The whole ride here, she was telling me about all her boyfriends she's had over the past four years."

"How many?" Ron asked.

"More than most girls," I said, rolling my eyes, "She's a bloody scarlet woman."

Ron snorted. "Well, I can't say I am not surprised."

I glared at him. "Why not?"

"She's – well – she's -" Ron stammered, then coughed and mumbled something.

"She's what, Ron?" I asked. "I didn't hear that."

"She's attractive," Ron muttered.

"Oh, please!" I scoffed.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Ron said, "You can't deny that your cousin isn't – well – pretty."

I glared at him again. So he thinks she's pretty? Well, of course she is. She's bloody beautiful, but he does not need to say it!

"She reminds me of Fleur for some reason," Ron said.

I scoffed. Loudly. "Phlegm. Of course she's as _pretty _as Phlegm."

Ron raised his eyebrows, and I realized I had said that out loud.

"Are you jealous?" he asked.

I coughed and stammered, and cursed my cheeks for burning up.

"I'm starting to sense a pattern here," Ron said. "I mean... you called me your boyfriend..."

Oh, Merlin! Okay, I admit it. I really wished Ron was my boyfriend! But – well – Ron wants someone like Fleur Delacour or Lavender Brown! Someone who is pretty.

"Thank you, Hermione," Ron said.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. Did he just thank me for calling him my boyfriend. Does that mean...?

"For what?" I asked; my voice sounds so dry.

"Well, if your cousin is, as you say, a scarlet woman," Ron said, "Then I obviously don't want someone like her. Thanks for – well – I don't know."

I sighed. My best friend, oblivious to my feelings as ever.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

Ron stood up and reached into the pocket of his jeans, then pulled what looked like a holiday card, then handed it to me. I opened it up and began to read it.

"You are cordially invited to -" I raised my eyebrows. "Your brother and Fleur? They picked out a wedding date?"

"I told you and Harry both that the wedding was coming up, didn't I?" Ron asked. "Yeah. Actually it is next week. It was originally scheduled to be on the first of August, but Mad-Eye Moody insisted it take place much sooner. He thinks that since August 1st was so openly announced, that it could be open grounds for a Death Eater attack. So, over the past few days, he's been talking to Mum and Dad, and Bill and Fleur, and influenced them. Only bad news is now everything is going in fast-forward. It is a mess around the Burrow. Everyone is working on details and making plans, and stuff. I really don't want to be a part of that."

"You could always stay here until the wedding," I said.

It took me about thirty seconds to realize why Ron was staring at me with raised eyebrows and an open mouth.

Then I realized my big mouth had betrayed me again.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Ron asked.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"You asked me to play the part of your boyfriend in front of your mad cousin, didn't you?" Ron asked.

I stared at him. Why did my big mouth suddenly decide not to open? Why did it suddenly decide it didn't want to tell Ron that I was joking?!

"Obviously you're quite unhappy with the fact you're stuck here with your cousin," Ron said, "I'd hate for you to get annoyed at her and accidentally curse her. So... sure, I accept your offer."

"Ron..." I said; I didn't know what to say.

On one hand, it would help keep me distracted and calm around my cousin. On the other hand... _Oh, Merlin..._

"Maybe this isn't a good idea," I said. "I mean... I just flat out lied to my cousin and called you my boyfriend."

"Are you going to go and admit that?" Ron asked.

"No!" I said, "For one thing, she'd laugh at me! For another..."

_She'd want you for herself, and I can't have that!_

"Well, then, we can't have that," Ron said, "Who am I to deny such a challenge? A Gryffindor never backs down from a fight. Besides... with the threat of attacks on Muggles and Muggleborn, I don't want to risk something happening to you. Until the wards are placed, you're not safe here alone."

"I can take care of myself!" I said.

"And your cousin?" Ron asked, "Hermione, if you get attacked, it probably won't be one-on-one!"

"What makes you think I'm going to get attacked?" I asked.

"Are you bloody serious?" Ron asked, "You're the Chosen One's best mate! Malfoy knows that, Snape knows that! Or did you forget about them?"

My bottom lip quivered as my mind went back to the fight at Hogwarts. How Snape had somehow gotten past me when it was my job to watch his office in the dungeon. Harry had given me that one job, had said he thought Snape was up to something. And I failed and allowed Snape to get past me and murder the Headmaster.

I suddenly felt a comforting arm around me. I looked up and noticed Ron was sitting next to me, with his arm draped around my shoulders.

"Hermione, I'm sorry," he said, "I shouldn't have said it like that."

"No," I said, "You're right."

I suddenly did want him to stay over at my house. Even if it meant he was there to keep me company while my cousin was here. Even if it meant there wasn't a threat of danger.

"You can stay over until the wedding if you want," I said.

"Brilliant," Ron said, "I'll need to talk to Dad first. He might not be too happy, but I definitely don't want to ask Mum, do I? I'll leave that to Dad."

"Do you know what you're going to say?" I asked.

"Depends," Ron said, then grinned, "Should I tell them I'm your boyfriend?"

I glared at him. "What do you think?"

Ron coughed. "Right. I'll just tell him I'm protecting you from threat of Death Eaters."

"That will probably work," I said.

"Come on," Ron said, "Let's go tell your cousin the good news."

He stood up, and offered me his hand to help me up. I once again cursed my warm cheeks but took his hand anyway. He helped me to my feet; unfortunately I underestimated his strength and almost fell down. He caught me and I soon found myself wrapped in his arms.

"Er... thanks," I said.

He coughed and let me go, much too soon for my taste, then backed up. "N-no problem."

"Wait a tick!" I said, as a thought came to my mind, "How did you get here anyway?"

"Apparated!" Ron said, grinning, "I got my license yesterday. Didn't splinch myself at all. Though for a few minutes I was thinking I should put a sticking charm on my eyebrows..."

"Congratulations!" I said; before I knew it, my lips were once again pressed against his cheek.

I realized what I was doing and cleared my throat and backed up. His previously mentioned cheek was blushingly red. I hurried over to the door, hoping he didn't see the flush in my cheeks. We made our way downstairs, and found Rose sitting in the living room, reading a magazine.

"You weren't up there long," Rose said, as she looked at us over the magazine, "Is he that much of a bad snog?"

I glared at my cousin. Two can play at this game. "Nope. He's a pretty good snog. In fact, I've invited him to stay over for a few days."

Rose raised her eyebrows, then smiled. "Well, brilliant! I would love to get to know your boyfriend. Perfect opportunity."

My glare hadn't left my face. If that didn't have a double-meaning, I'm Fluffy the three-headed dog! What a... ugh! I hate her! Nobody messes with my boyfriend!

… I mean best friend!

"Well, anyway," I said, "Ron needs to leave for a little bit to go tell his family. He'll be back shortly."

"Great!" Rose said, "Then we can get some take-out! What do you like, Ron?"

Ron stammered, and I realized he might not even know what take-out meant.

"Er... Hermione knows what I like," Ron said.

Oh, good answer, Ron! I could kiss you for that!

You know... on the cheek again.

I led Ron out of the room and toward the front door.

"What is take-out?" Ron muttered.

"It is kind of like Owl Order Service but for restaurants," I said, "And much quicker."

"Oh," Ron said, "Sounds good. Anyway, I'll be back shortly. Hopefully..."

"See you soon," I said.

Suddenly, Ron kissed me on the cheek. Before I could say anything, he opened the front door and walked out, leaving me holding the previously mentioned cheek, which was growing warmer by the second. A few moments later, I heard a resounding crack, and cursed Ron for making such noise.

"Sounded like his car backfired," Rose said, as she walked over to me, "What heap of junk does he drive anyway?"

"A Ford," I said, thinking of the flying car that was somewhere in the Forbidden Forest. "Ford Anglia."

Rose grunted. "Not exactly the type of car that will pick up girls. Lucky for him, he has you."

"Yeah," I muttered, "Lucky for him..."

"So, my dear cousin," Rose said, "I think it is time I start interrogating you, before he gets back. First question... is he a keeper?"

I grinned and looked at her. "Yes. He is..."

I just didn't clarify exactly what I meant by that.

* * *

**So... Hermione Granger has a big mouth that likes to betray her thoughts! When will Ron get to kiss it? We'll see...**

**So, Ron is staying over for a whole week (This story starts on a Saturday) and Hermione has to act like he is her boyfriend. How long before the two of them realize it may be more than an act? Wait and see!**

**Yes, I am aware I moved up Bill and Fleur's wedding! I had a good reason. I didn't want this story to last a month or so and the wedding will be a pretty good ending setting. Especially if my plans go well.**

**Hope you liked this chapter!**


	3. Interrogations and Pizza Dinners

**Chapter 3  
Interrogations and Pizza Dinners**

"Before I continue my interrogation," Rose said, as I followed her back into the living room, "We should think about dinner first. Take-out obviously. Though I reckon it will be rather expensive if we have take-out everyday. Can you cook?"

"A bit," I said.

"Can your boyfriend?" Rose asked.

I thought about that, then shook my head. "His mother cooks everything at his house, so I doubt it."

"Must be quite the woman," Rose said, "You can't ask my mother to cook. Daddy is the chef in the family."

"I don't doubt that since he and Mum are from the some gene pool," I said.

"So, take-out for tonight," Rose said, "And then one of us needs to go to the grocery store. I reckon that should be you, since your boyfriend's going to be here for – what, a week?"

"A week, yeah," I said; for the first time I found myself really hoping Mr. Weasley allowed Ron to stay here for a whole week. Of course I could hear Mrs. Weasley's reaction if she found out. Something similar to the Howler he received in second year after he and Harry flew the car to Hogwarts.

"Well, good," Rose said, "Tomorrow, you and your boyfriend can go shopping. Sounds like a lovely date."

I blushed. A date. With Ron. Well, it wouldn't be the first time he and I went shopping together. I remembered those Hogsmeade weekends when he and I visited the village, before Harry was allowed to come with us. I ignored the small voice in the back of mind that asked me I could have called those "dates" too.

"So, what is on the menu, tonight?" Rose asked.

"Pizza," I said, distractedly; I was still thinking about going on dates with Ron, and my mind had turned into goop.

Naturally, it took me a moment to realize that Ron might not have ever had pizza. I winced at the thought.

"I've always wanted to know if English pies are better than those in France," Rose said, "Good choice."

"I'll order two," I said, as I walked over to the telephone, and picked up the phone-book beside it, "Ron tends to eat a lot."

"Really?" Rose asked; I could hear the disbelief oozing in her tone, "Could have fooled me. He is very... fit."

I glared at my cousin for a moment. Merlin, I wished she would stop complimenting my "boyfriend". There's a thin line between a compliment and down-right flirting, and she was toeing it! And she probably has some big toes too.

I momentarily ignored my cousin, and quickly found a number for a take-out restaurant and ordered two large with four kinds of meat, knowing that even if Ron hadn't had pizza before, he would probably love a good meat pizza.

"Pizza will arrive in half-an-hour or so," I said; I found myself hoping Ron would be back by then.

"Brilliant," Rose said, "Plenty of time for us to talk. I guess we should start with the obvious. I was rather shocked to hear you had a boyfriend. You haven't said a peep about him. I mean, here I was planning a nice outing where we might find a couple dates, and all this time you had a man of your own."

I shrugged. "I have plenty of time to see my boyfriend. I wanted to spend time with my cousin who I haven't seen in so many years. Besides, I wasn't expecting him to come over. His oldest brother is getting married next week, so I thought he might have been quite busy helping his family get ready for it."

"Then why is he spending a week with you?" Rose asked.

"He isn't the type to plan a wedding," I said.

"He doesn't like weddings?" Rose asked.

"I meant he is probably not going to choose to be a wedding planner as a profession," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Surely he intends to get married someday," Rose said, "He has to plan his own wedding at one point. Seems like a good way to learn."

Rose must have thought I'd see that as an innocent statement. In reality, I could see she wanted to know if I had plans to marry him one day.

"He has a big family," I said, deciding it was the most innocent answer, "Family means so much to him. So I'm sure he has plans to marry one day."

A smile crossed Rose's lips and I could see the questions in her mind. Questions regarding my future. Therefore I was surprised when the conversation didn't turn that way.

"You said his _oldest _brother is getting married," Rose said, "How many brothers does he have?"

"Five," I said, "All older than him, and a younger sister."

"Five brothers," Rose said, as a grin crossed her lips, "Any of them single?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am not hooking you up with my boyfriend's brothers, Rose."

"You're no fun," Rose said, pouting, "As handsome as your boyfriend is, the genes in his family must be magnifique!"

I tried my best not to glare at her. I suddenly realized I was right. She was playing a game. She was trying to make me jealous. She obviously knows how beautiful she is. She obviously thinks any boy would pick her over me. She's jealous of me! Ha!

"So how long have you and Ron been together?" Rose asked.

I froze momentarily. What was I supposed to say? What if I came up with one story, and Ron told a whole different tale. I suddenly realized I needed to sit down with Ron and create a back-story of our "relationship".

"Er... I think we should leave some of these questions until dinner when Ron is here," I said. "Wouldn't it be better to get both our sides of the story at once?"

Rose raised an eyebrow as she looked at me. She shrugged. "That sounds like a good idea."

I sighed, having thankfully made it past that obstacle. I glanced toward the entrance hall of the house, wondering what could possibly be taking Ron so long. Had his father disapproved of the idea. Did his mother overhear the conversation? I could see all possibilities of conversations with her, especially since she probably wanted everyone to pitch in with the wedding. I wondered if she would think my safety from Death Eaters was less important than the wedding of her eldest son and a girl she was only just now getting used to being a part of her family.

I very much hoped Ron wasn't getting himself into a heated argument. He tends to blurt things out during arguments without thinking first. It would just be like Ron to tell his family he is my boyfriend without thinking about it. I didn't want to think about having to fake a relationship in front of the Weasleys, especially since Mrs. Weasley, and the whole family, thought of me as another daughter.

I blushed at that thought.

"What are you thinking about over there, Hermione?" Rose asked.

"What?" I asked.

"You're blushing, cousin!" Rose said, grinning. She swooned. "Oh, to be in love."

I could feel the early signs of hyperventilation. I wasn't sure I wanted to think about being in love with Ron. Especially since I was faking a relationship with him!

Calm down, Hermione. Count backwards from one-hundred.

"How long have you known Ron?" Rose asked, as I reached eighty-five in my countdown.

I decided that it was an easy question that Ron wouldn't mess up if Rose asked him about. I could answer that one.

"We met on the train going to my school," I said; my cousin knew I was at a boarding school in Scotland, so it was safe to talk about that much.

"Was it love at first sight?" Rose asked.

"Rose!" I squeaked.

Rose giggled. "Oh, come now, _mi cherie. _Even if you have only recently started dating does not mean you haven't only fancied the boy for a short time. I'm sure he must have been just as handsome then as is he is now. Surely you must have seen that."

I thought about that. Okay, I did kind of think Ron was cute early on. However, it was definitely not love at first sight.

"I implied earlier that even my friends once thought I was a know-it-all," I said. "Ron was one of those. It didn't help that my studious personality took control the very first time I met him."

"I'm not surprised!" Rose said, giggling, "If you had fancied him even a little bit when you were eleven, well, most eleven-year old children tend to panic when it comes to things like that. Even girls. You must have been embarrassed and sinking into that studious personality was a defense mechanism."

I raised an eyebrow at my cousin. For the first time since we had reunited, I was beginning to realize we were from the same gene pool at one point. She may be a boy-obsessed, beautiful scarlet woman, but she can also be quite smart.

"That is very... psychological of you," I said.

"I don't need psychology to have thought about that," Rose said. "I, too, was young and experiencing innocent fancies like yourself. Defense mechanisms can be a pain in the backside. So... since he was one of those fools who teased you for being a know-it-all at one point, I take it you weren't friends from the start."

"No," I said, "He used to tease me a lot. Especially for being a know-it-all."

"Defense mechanism again," Rose said, "He was jealous of you. I'm sure he had his own fancy for you right from the start. He was just too young and naive to even be able to start to admit it to himself that he had feelings for you. Tends to happen with most boys."

I blushed. I've known for a while that there was a possibility Ron has fancied me. But I am also aware that there are many girls he knows that he could also fancy. I am just one fish in the sea. I've accepted that.

"How did you become friends then?" Rose asked. "If he teased you and annoyed you, something magnifique must have happened for you to suddenly want to be his friend."

I frowned. There was absolutely no way I could tell her we became friends because he and Harry saved me from a mountain troll. First of all she wouldn't believe me. Second she'd think I was mental.

Then I suddenly realized what I could say.

"He teased me one day," I said, "Actually it was Halloween of that year. Anyway, he teased me so badly, I wound up sitting in a girl's lavatory all day crying to myself, pitying myself. However, he wasn't the worst bully in the school. There were far worse. A bully started to tease me badly for crying, and Ron and our other friend heard them, and confronted them. Ron and Harry fought them off, and even though they got in trouble for it, I realized they had defended my honor. I decided that if they could do that, then obviously they weren't the prats I thought they were. I gave them a chance, and we became quick friends from there on in. Now... well... I'd die for either of them."

Rose's smile grew wider as my story continued. As I finished, she sighed rather amorously.

"Oh, to have a man defend a lady's honor," Rose said, "You are one lucky woman to have two boys who would do that for you. Your other friend, this boy, is he single?"

I narrowed my eyes. So now she wanted Harry Potter, huh? I considered it a good thing she didn't know exactly who he was, or I might find her more attracted to him. I thought of how to answer that. I recalled the conversation on the train after Dumbledore's funeral, and how Harry had admitted he had broken up with Ginny. I still don't know why he did that. I know he and Ginny love each other. A separation, especially when you consider the fact the both of them will be around each other quite a bit in the coming months, is not exactly a good thing for the future of their relationship.

Still, I considered Rose's question. I had a good feeling Harry and Ginny wouldn't stay apart for long.

"No," I said, "He's taken and very much in love."

Rose grunted. "It is a curse being so beautiful, you know. You can't find a good relationship. Men just want me for my beauty. I want to find someone I can fall in love with. I envy you and Ron, dear cousin."

I stared at my cousin, and hoped my jaw wasn't on the floor. Admittedly, I was in awe. For the first time, I realized that she might not be a scarlet woman at all. Originally when she told me she had many boyfriends over four years, I had assumed she was just moving from boy to boy and man to man, dumping them for others because they weren't good enough. I suddenly realized that wasn't true at all. She wanted to find love, and those who she dated were in love with her for the wrong reasons. It was lust, I realized, not love.

_"I envy you and Ron, dear cousin."_

Rose's confession echoed in my brain. I suddenly felt really bad for what Ron and I were doing. Especially when I sometimes wondered if there was a chance we could be more.

Rose seemed to be lost in her own thoughts of past relationships, that she must have momentarily forgotten her interrogation. I am not exactly a fan of sitting in companionable silence, especially not with a cousin I haven't seen in years, so I needed to find something to do.

I suddenly started to feel self-conscious. I was about to have a simple pizza dinner with my cousin and "fake" boyfriend, and I was wearing clothes I reserved for lounging around the house all day. No, this might not be considered a date, but I suddenly felt embarrassed that Ron had seen me in something so flimsy and ragged. Okay, I wasn't exactly wearing rags, but it felt like it.

I suddenly laughed at myself. I am not exactly a girl who is into fashion. Thank Merlin for that. I've roomed with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil for six years, and I consider myself lucky I've not turned into a girly-girl because of it. Those two are the definition of girly.

Though I will admit, I wouldn't have looked as good as I did during the Yule Ball, if it hadn't been for their help. That was the _only _time I have ever sought out their help for my appearance. It makes me shiver to think I have Lavender Brown to thank for the way Ron stared at me from the sidelines as I danced with Viktor Krum.

On second thought, Ron had been looking at me that night, instead Lavender Brown. Hmm... score one for the average-looking know-it-all!

Hoping that Rose was too lost in thoughts about romance to notice my absence, I stood from my chair and made my way up to my bedroom. My self-conscious personality was coming out fighting, kicking and screaming as I looked at my room. I had been so lost in my studies over the past few days – mixed in with a bit of depression over the loss of my Headmaster – that I hadn't realized my room was in the early makings of a pig sty. My laundry basket was laying at the end of my bed, and to my horror, a pair of my knickers were on the very top of the pile.

Oh, Merlin, Ron had been in my room! Had he seen my knickers?

I was beginning to hyperventilate again. Breathe, Hermione. Ron hadn't been in the room very long, and he seemed to be quite shocked at the fact that you had called him your boyfriend. He probably didn't get a chance to look around.

Deciding I needed to do my laundry the following day, I adjusted the clothes in the basket so that my unmentionables were out of sight. I suddenly realized the chance of Ron being in my room more often than not over the next week was quite high. I looked around for anything too personal that I didn't want him to see. Luckily I am not the type of girl to have a diary – that whole incident with Ginny Weasley and the Chamber of Secrets kind of put me off of diaries for life.

Lets see... knickers out of sight in laundry bin, check! Drawer of unmentionables shut tightly, check, note to self: consider putting a charm on it to keep "fake" boyfriends out of such places. Feminine hygiene material safely stored out of sight in the bathroom... hmm, better let Ron know the towels and washcloths are in a cupboard above the toilet, and not under the sink. That might make for an awkward conversation.

Really, I mean, Merlin knows it was difficult trekking through the wonders of female puberty given the fact that your best friends are two blokes. Thank Merlin those two boys were oblivious during those times. Though I do remember Ron asking me why I was so tetchy during a certain time of the month during Third Year. Luckily I could blame it on his dislike for Crookshanks.

Speaking of the devil, the other beautiful ginger in my life walked into my bedroom and mewed gently for my attention. I stroked him once lengthwise as he purred. He hopped on my bed and watched me. I begin to wonder if he realizes what my current situation with Ron is. Crookshanks never has liked the boy. Hmm... that could get quite awkward. Or interesting. One of the two.

I walked over to my closet and started rummaging for a proper outfit to wear. What does one wear for a simple pizza dinner with your "fake" boyfriend? What would Lavender and Parvati say about that? Realizing I was contemplating getting opinions of fake boyfriends from the gossip girls of Gryffindor, I shook myself mentally and concentrated on a nice outfit.

As I finish changing into my outfit – jeans and a shirt that shows my rather non-existent curves off well – I hear the echoing chimes of the doorbell. Ron is back! I step into my shoes, grabbing my purse for good measure, and hurry down the stairs. I open the door, trying to calm my nerves, and to my chagrin see that the pizza delivery bloke has arrived. I politely greet him as he gives me the two pizza boxes, and take in the heavenly smells radiating from the boxes. I pay the man and tell him to keep the change as a tip. He smiles at me warmly, and I am thankful Rose did not decide to greet him instead – the bloke was fairly good looking, and knowing my cousin she'd probably flirt with him shamelessly.

I say goodbye and close the door behind me. I wonder why Ron hasn't arrived yet. Suddenly, I find myself shocked at these thoughts. I wonder whether it would be a good or bad thing if Ron wasn't allowed to stay at my house for a week. Other than the possible interrogation, I wouldn't have to worry too much about my "fake" relationship with my best friend. However, I also find myself wanting him back in my house right this minute. Fake relationship or not, I miss my best friend. If he returns, I am going to give him a good talking-to! He should not worry me like this, especially with the current events of danger lurking around.

I shake myself, deciding I shouldn't make myself sick with worry, and announce "Pizza!" in a rather singsong type of voice, as I walk into the kitchen slash dining room.

"Ah, magnifique!" Rose said, as she entered the kitchen; she does a double take as she looks at my appearance. "Look at you, dressing up for your man."

"Is it okay?" I ask, suddenly realizing I am nervous; which is odd considering Ron isn't really even my boyfriend.

"Cousin," Rose said, and I realize she has taken on a bit of a scolding tone, "you should not be afraid of looking beautiful for your man, even for a simple pizza dinner at home! By the way I still haven't forgotten about your make-over! Even more so, now that I know you have a beau!"

I blush and mumble about not wanting to have a make-over.

"Nonsense!" Rose said, "Now, where is your beau? He hasn't returned yet?"

Before I can answer, I hear the doorbell chime again. I smile and quickly set the pizza boxes down, before turning and racing back toward the front door. I open it and find Ron standing there, with a knapsack over his shoulder. I also realize he has changed his outfit as well. He is looking quite handsome in a buttoned-down shirt and khakis, and I wonder if they are hand-me downs from one of his brothers.

Before I can even open my mouth, he says "A book about our school."

It takes me a moment to realize he is answering my security question. I hadn't even thought about that! I back away from the door, and he walks in, and shuts the door behind him.

"Who was that bloke I just saw leaving in a car?" Ron asked, "Looked kind of tetchy and suspicious to me."

"That was the pizza delivery guy, Ron," I said, "He's okay, believe me."

I suddenly realize that I hadn't even given the pizza guy a second thought about if he could be a Death Eater in disguise or not. What would Mad-Eye say about that?

"Pizza?" Ron asked.

"Our dinner," I said, "You'll see. You'll love it. Er... I guess you should put your knapsack down."

Oh crap! I just realized something! Rose is taking the guest bedroom. I most certainly can't have him sleeping in my parents' room! Or my room, for that matter!

"Er... do you mind sleeping on the couch in the sitting room this week?" I asked, sheepishly.

"I've had worse," Ron shrugged, smiling.

I just about melt at the sight of his smile. I fight the urge to hug him, or kiss him on the cheeks or lips, and clear my throat. I lead him into the sitting room. I remembered an urgent conversation I needed to have with Ron, then realized I didn't have the time. Rose would certainly wonder why we haven't come into the kitchen by now...

I quickly place a Muffliato charm around the room. Ron notices as he sets his knapsack down and looks at me.

"I should warn you," I said, "Rose is going to interrogate us about our – err – relationship."

Ron raised an eyebrow. "All right."

"Ron, don't you see the problem?!" I asked, sighing in exasperation, "We don't exactly have a good back-story or history to our relationship!"

"We'll handle it, love," Ron said, "Just follow my lead."

I am so curious about what he is planning, that it takes me a moment to realize he called me "love".

"Well, try to keep it vague," I said, "I'll do my best to ward off too many questions. You're spending a week here, she doesn't need to do a full interrogation tonight. It should give us time to discuss a good story."

"Tonight then," Ron said, "After dinner... in your room?"

I shrug and nod. "We'll also discuss guidelines and rules regarding the boundaries of this relationship. For example: pet-names like "Mione" and "love"."

Ron grinned. "Have to keep a convincing story, Hermione. Considering you only let your father call you "Mione", how would Rose take it if you suddenly let me use it."

I stared at him, considering his words. I realize exactly what he meant. Given that the nickname is so personal to me, allowing someone beside my father to call me such would mean my feelings for that person are about as deep as the love I have for my father.

Huh. I didn't know Ron could think about something so deeply like that.

"I'll think about it," I muttered. "For now, no pet-names."

Ron snickered and I glared at him. I canceled the Muffliato charm, and led him into the kitchen. The two pizza boxes were open, and three paper plates and three glasses of water were set in front of three chairs. Rose was already dining on a piece of pizza as we arrived.

Rose smiled lightly as she looked at Ron. Ron politely greeted her in turn, as we sat beside each other at the table. Ron looked cautiously at the pizza. I fought back the urge to laugh. I hadn't seen him look so oddly at food since the Bouillabaisse during one of the feasts during our Fourth Year. I grabbed a slice of pizza and took a bite, hoping it would convince Ron it was okay. Thankfully, I was right. Ron took a slice and bit into it. Oh, the look on his face! I could tell pizza was going to be one of his new favorite things to eat... which was a long list.

"I hope water is suitable enough for tonight as a drink," Rose said, "Need more options though. Thankfully you've planned a shopping trip tomorrow."

"A shopping trip?" Ron asked, after swallowing a bite of his pizza slice.

"We can't live on take-out alone for a week, Ron," Rose said. "I convinced Hermione to take you along on a shopping date at the grocery store tomorrow."

Ron's eyes went wide at the word "date". I tried to hide my blush.

Ron cleared his throat. "Sounds... sounds brilliant."

"I'll even let you drive my car, Hermione," Rose said.

I almost choked on my bite of pizza, and took a large gulp of water. It wasn't that I didn't know how to drive. I do! I actually took my driving test during the Christmas holiday, during a day when the weather was nice, and passed – not with flying colors, but I did quite well. However, the thought of driving Rose's car...

"Are you sure?" I asked, "I mean – your convertible! I'd be frightened of even scraping it!"

Rose swept a dismissive hand in front of her. "You'll be fine, cousin. Besides, it will do you good to go on a drive in my car. Especially on a nice date you should enjoy."

"It is only a shopping trip," I mumbled.

"It is a test drive!" Rose said, "If you do well, you can take it out again. Surely you and Ron will want to have a nice date this week. Movie, dinner, the works?"

I looked at Ron, and could see his face was growing rather pink. The tips of his ears were bright red.

"Er... thank you, Rose," I said.

"Don't thank me," Rose said, smiling, "You two are a lovely couple. It is an honor to be a small part of it."

Ron cleared his throat. He was as nervous as I was. "Th-thanks Rose."

Rose only smiled once again. She waited until she was finished with her first slice of pizza before she decided to continue her interrogation.

"So, Ron," she said, "I was discussing with Hermione earlier some of the details of your relationship. However, she wanted to wait on some details until you returned."

Ron looked at me for a moment, then back at Rose. He sighed and nodded. "Well, I am here now."

I tried my best not to groan. I thought back to how he said he would take care of it, and I once again wondered what was on his mind.

"I guess my first question should be," Rose said, "When did the two of you get together?"

My wand felt heavy in my pocket. I seriously considered taking it out and Obliviate my cousin. I've never used a Memory Charm before, not even for practice. But I began to wonder if I could get lucky and do a good one my first try. Ron cleared his throat, snapping me back into reality. I looked at him, and wondered exactly what he was going to say.

"A few days after my birthday in March," Ron said.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him curiously. Suddenly my mind went back to that first week of March. Ron had been poisoned on his birthday. Surely he wasn't going to tell Rose he had been poisoned?

"I turned seventeen on the first of March," Ron said, "At our school, that is a pretty big thing, you see. Seventeen is considered – well, it is an important milestone according to our Professors. We're given more... privileges. We can't even take some classes until we turn seventeen, so it is considered a big thing. So, you can probably tell that my seventeenth birthday was something for me to look forward to. A few friends of mine decided to throw a party. And they brought alcohol."

"How the bloody hell did you get away with that?" Rose asked.

"I told you," Ron said, "At seventeen we get... privileges."

I could tell that Ron was doing his best not to admit that seventeen was considered "of age" in the wizarding world. Still, I was quite lost in his story. It was rather impressive so far. I only wondered where he was taking this."

"So – I take it Hermione was at this party?" Rose asked.

"Are you bloody serious?" Ron said, laughing, "Know-it-all Hermione at a party where alcohol is a part of it!"

I reached over and smacked him on the back of the head for his know-it-all jab. Rose only snickered at us. Ron looked at me questioningly, and I decided it was time to at least get a say in this tale.

"Ron and I were both prefects," I said; prefect was also a Muggle term, so I considered it safe, "He's lucky I didn't know about that party that night. I would have stopped it then and there!"

"I'm rather lucky she didn't," Ron said, "What followed is what led to – well, Hermione becoming my girlfriend."

I raised an eyebrow. I wondered exactly how long he had been thinking of this story.

"I hate to admit it," Ron said, blushing, "But I don't take liquor very well. I got pretty pissed, and well, I got pretty sick afterward. I ended up in the hospital wing."

"Oh no!" Rose gasped, covering her mouth with her hands; Holy Merlin, she was believing this fiction! Will wonders ever cease?!

"Looking back, I wished I wasn't sick," Ron said, "I might have enjoyed what happened next a bit more. The following day, Hermione came to me in the hospital wing, and I was there laying in bed with a sick stomach. I was asleep."

I could see the scene in my head. He had been poisoned and unconscious. I had held his hand at one point, and that was when he – oh, Merlin, is he –?

"I remember I was dreaming," Ron said. "I remember dreaming about Hermione. I guess I said her name out loud."

I blushed pink remembering the moment he said, "Er-my-knee".

"Later, when I got out of the hospital wing, I discovered she had been holding my hand while I slept," Ron continued. "When we finally were able to talk to each other again – well – she wasn't exactly happy with me. We tend to argue a lot, you see. Well, this argument was different. She was so caring about me, I realized, worried about me being sick from drinking so much. I wanted to tell her how happy I was that she cared that I was okay. Only I didn't do it with words. I – er – kissed her."

Oh, good Merlin! The story sounded so real, he even convinced me! It didn't help that there was a bit of truth to it! Only... after he had gotten out of the hospital wing, he told me couldn't remember anything that happened during that time.

Son of a – was he lying to me?! My mind began to fill with scenarios. How in the bloody hell did he come up with that damn story?

I stared at him, mesmerized, wondering exactly what he was thinking. He looked back at me, and his lips twisted into one of the most lovely smiles I'd ever seen from him.

And then I did something extremely stupid.

I kissed him.

Not on the cheek. On the lips!

It took me all of a second to realize what I was doing. I backed away about a second after that. He looked absolutely shocked. He was speechless. He was staring at me, and there was something in his eyes that frightened me. I couldn't recognize it.

Then I did another extremely stupid thing.

I stood up and ran out of the kitchen.

* * *

**When I first started this chapter, I did not plan this ending. At all. The kiss scene was completely different. In fact I had written it out. Fortunately, I still have that scene, and it will take place next chapter.**

**So this was an extremely important chapter when it comes to Rose, and her part in this story. I might have given a few hints, albeit confusing ones. Maybe some of my readers have figured it out?**

**So I wrote some notes for my story last night, as I looked ahead and planned the end of the story. I do not know how many chapters this will be, but let me tell you, the last three or four chapters of the story (minus the epilogue if there is one) are absolutely exciting and dramatic if my plans go right. I am excited.**

**Well, things are just getting heated up. The aftermath of the kiss is revealed next chapter. I will reveal one thing here: Ron never got a chance to respond to her kiss, Hermione only kissed him. That is very important in a part of the next chapter. Keep that in mind.**

**This chapter, length-wise is usually my average length of chapter. However, do not expect long chapters like these all the time. I've found that shorter chapters in this story are better.**

**Hope you liked this chapter! I'd love to get your opinion! If you have any ideas for a dating scenario, I'd love to hear them. Really, they have six days of "fake" relationship to get through. I have a few ideas, but I need more!**


	4. Keep It Simple, Stupid

**Chapter 4  
****Keep It Simple, Stupid**

_Previously on "Boyfriend"..._

_I kissed him. Not on the cheek. On the lips! It took me all of a second to realize what I was doing. I backed away about a second after that. He looked absolutely shocked. He was speechless. He was staring at me, and there was something in his eyes that frightened me. I couldn't recognize it. Then I did another extremely stupid thing. I stood up and ran out of the kitchen._

* * *

I was in tears by the time I reached my bedroom. I slammed the door behind me, not caring if Ron and Rose had heard the racket. I ran over to my bed and sunk carelessly onto it. The tears continued as I buried my head in my pillow.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! What he must think of me kissing him! We hadn't even talked about whether or not we should kiss in front of Rose. Kissing on the lips is quite a personal part of a relationship. And I am in the middle of a "fake" relationship!

Maybe I wouldn't be reacting so badly if we had agreed we needed to do some convincing kissing in front of Rose just to play out the scenario. But stupid little me went and kissed him out of the blue.

And the way he looked at me! I don't know what was going on in those pretty blue eyes of his, but it couldn't be anything good. Probably disgust.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Suddenly, there was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Go away!" I growled, my voice muffled since my face was still buried in my pillow.

"Sorry, love, can't do that," Ron said.

I gasped as I looked up. Ron was standing in the doorway. I didn't even hear him open the door! And how can he call me "love" when I went and did something so stupid?!

I looked away from Ron as I wiped the tears from my face, and I sat up on my bed. I realized Ron was holding one of the pizza boxes. He shut the door behind him, and walked over to my bed, and sat beside me. If I was in my right mind, I might have taken this as a good sign. But all I could think about was how he could look at me after what I did.

"You only ate one piece," Ron said, "Thought you might want more."

I shrugged. Honestly, I thought I might throw up the piece of pizza I ate.

"I told Rose that you didn't feel very well," Ron said, "I might have lied and told her I noticed you looked a bit ill before we walked into your kitchen."

"Thanks," I mumbled; maybe I should vomit. It would make Ron's story come out more truthful.

I wanted to apologize for that kiss, but my brain wouldn't let me. Maybe it was a defense mechanism. As long as I didn't bring up the subject, the word "kiss", maybe we wouldn't talk about it.

"Did Rose say anything?" I asked, "After I left."

"Just said I should go comfort you," Ron said.

Once again, my wand felt heavy in the pocket of my jeans.

"Can I just go downstairs and set a Memory Charm on her?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

I shrugged. If he couldn't figure it out, I wasn't going to tell him.

"Then I guess my answer is 'no'," Ron said; I looked at him, and he smiled at me. "For one reason, you've never done one before. You might get rid of more memories than you intend. Also, it is illegal to Obliviate a Muggle unless you have the proper authority."

I nodded grudgingly. He had a good point.

"For another reason," Ron said, "It isn't that bad, Hermione."

"I'm lying to my cousin, Ron!" I exclaimed. "How can that not be bad?"

"It could be worse," Ron said.

I snorted. I don't know how it could be worse.

"Besides," Ron said, "If you Obliviated her, we'd have to come up with another story."

"You're pretty good at making up stories," I said, "Where in the bloody hell did that tale come from?"

Ron blushed and mumbled something under his breath.

"I didn't hear that," I said.

"I think I dreamed about it once," Ron said.

I blinked. He dreamed about – okay, I'm just going to file that away for a later date.

"Well, it must have been a pretty good dream," I said.

Ron shrugged, but didn't say anything. I opened the pizza box that was sitting between us, and grabbed a slice.

"We should have done this from the start," I muttered, "We should have just taken one of the boxes, and come up here and shared a pizza together."

"I didn't mind talking to your cousin," Ron said, "She's a good person to talk to."

I grudgingly agreed as I bit into the slice of pizza. Still... if he hadn't told her that story, I might not have been mesmerized by it. And I might not have kissed him.

It wasn't even a kiss! It was a peck on the lips. He probably hated it. That's why he hasn't mentioned it!

"So," Ron said, "I guess we should talk..."

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes as I chewed on a meaty bite of pizza. Oh, Merlin, please don't talk about the kiss yet. I'm not ready!

"We did agree to talk about this – er – fake relationship after dinner," Ron said.

I raised up the piece of pizza in my hand and looked at him. "We're still eating."

Then I took another bite, just to prove a point.

Ron snorted. I smiled grudgingly, swallowed and started laughing. He laughed too, and it was a wonderful sound.

"All right," I said, after I stopped laughing, "What exactly should we talk about?"

"What have you told your cousin about us?" Ron asked.

"We met on the train when we were eleven," I said, "You teased me, called me a know-it-all. I cried and pitied myself in the girl's lavatory. A bully came and teased me more for crying, and you and Harry defended my honor. We became friends."

Ron stared at me for a moment, then turned away and looked down at the piece of pizza in his hand.

"Did I ever tell you exactly how sorry I was for doing all that back then?" he asked.

I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at him. He looked so miserable. I guess after being friends for so very long, you sometimes forget the beginnings of such friendship.

"Ron, we were eleven and twelve," I said, "We were kids."

"Still," Ron said, with a shrug, "I was a bit of a git back then. I shouldn't have said you didn't have friends."

"You were basically right," I said, shrugging. "I didn't have friends. Before I found out I was a witch, I might have had a couple of friends over the many years I was in school. But those were few and far in between."

"My only friends before Hogwarts were my brothers, sister and Luna Lovegood, though I hardly knew her," Ron said. "I was so damn happy that I was friends with Harry Potter, I – I dunno. I thank the stars everyday for what happened on Halloween that year."

"We were almost slaughtered by a troll, Ron," I said, rolling my eyes.

"And yet, we came out on top," Ron said, "We got in trouble, we could have gotten expelled, but we became friends. To me, nothing else mattered out of that night."

I didn't know what to say. He was being so damn sweet that I wanted to kiss him again.

"Ron," I said, "Do you really want to do this? Do you really want to fool my cousin into thinking we're a couple?"

Ron looked at me, and I swore he was looking into my soul. I saw that look in his eyes, and once again wished I could decipher it.

"Yes, Hermione," Ron said. "Honestly, you saved me from a week of wedding preparations. I'd do anything to get out of that!"

I laughed again. "Ron, what took you so long to get back here? I was so afraid you weren't allowed to come back? I really wanted to yell at you when you returned, cause you were making me worry."

"Well, it took a while to get Dad alone so I could talk to him," Ron said. "I didn't want Mum to overhear, so we ended up in Dad's shed. I explained that you sort of reacted badly at the idea of Death Eaters coming after Muggles and Muggleborn."

I rolled my eyes. Okay, I admit, I am a bit worried, but I don't think I sounded that bad!

"He explained that it might take a few days to get situated before he and the Order can put some wards around the house," Ron continued. "So I told him I volunteered to stay with you until the wards were built. I think he probably knew I wanted to avoid putting together wedding preparations."

I laughed. "I'm sure he knew that was probably one of the reasons you chose to come here."

"Probably," Ron said, chuckling. "Anyway, he thought it was a good idea. Then he told me he'd take care of Mum, that he would tell her later. I just asked him to give me time to get away from the house before the explosion came."

I laughed again.

"Well, then it took me a bit of time to pack up some things in my knapsack," Ron continued. "I couldn't figure out what I wanted to bring. Really, other than that long visit Sirius' house, and the trip to Egypt, I've never had to plan for a visit somewhere. Unless it was Hogwarts, I mean. I figured we might want to go swimming..."

I suddenly saw a scenario in my head of Ron and I at the city pool. I could see him in only swimming trunks and nothing on above his waist. I tried my best to hide the blush in my cheeks.

"That sounds fun," I said, "Sure, we can do that one of these days..."

"Well, I just piled in some summer clothes," Ron said, "Then left the Burrow and came here."

"Only clothes?" I asked, "No books or homework."

Ron looked at me in horror. "Hermione, I have the whole summer holiday to work on that!"

I laughed and poked him in the ribs. "I was only teasing."

Ron raised an eyebrow, and for a moment I thought he was going to retaliate.

"Don't you dare," I growled.

Ron laughed. "Made you think about it though."

I glared at him and cleared my throat. "Anyway, we need to discuss this whole... thing... more."

"For example?" Ron asked.

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, "I've never done anything like this before."

Ron snorted. "You certainly made me think you and Krum had a relationship through fifth year."

I glared at him again. "He was a pen-pal! I told you that!"

"You didn't exactly deny it when I asked if he was more than a pen-pal!" Ron argued.

I harrumphed. He was right. I didn't. But how could I tell him I only did it because it was fun to watch him squirm throughout the whole of fifth year?

"I'm sorry," I said. "He was only a pen-pal. I told you he wanted me to visit him after fourth year, yes?"

He shrugged and nodded.

"Well, I ended up going to Grimmauld Place," I said, "He took it pretty badly, and soon after that our relationship was just friends. I couldn't even consider him a best friend. I could tell in his letters he wasn't happy with me. I finally told him I had no intentions to take our relationship further. The last time he wrote me was just to make sure I was okay after the incident in the Department of Mysteries. He read about it in his country's newspaper."

"And it has taken you this long to tell me that?" Ron asked.

"It was never brought up, really," I said, shrugging. "And by the time I did think about it, you were off snogging Lavender."

Ron sighed and looked at his half-eaten slice of pizza.

"Are we going to have to kiss again?" Ron suddenly asked.

My stomach felt like it was in my throat. I mention him snogging Lavender and he asks me that? Great change of subject, Ron, thank you.

I looked down at my feet and thought about his question. We needed to talk about this. Except... I didn't know what to say. Did I want to kiss him again?

"I don't know. Why?" I asked; really it was the best possible response I could come up with. Also I realized I was answering my own question.

Ron shrugged and looked at me for a moment. I suddenly wondered if he was going to kiss me.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure how we're going to fool Rose," Ron said, "We can't exactly keep getting away kisses on cheeks, right? Not after that kiss you gave me earlier."

Well, so much for dancing around the fact that I kissed him. It is out in the open now. What do I say to that?

Keep it simple, stupid.

"No," I said, "Probably not."

"Then there's the fact that Rose is probably pretty good at snogging," Ron said.

"Exactly what is that supposed to mean?!" I asked.

Great, Hermione. If he didn't know you were jealous of Rose, he probably does now. Still, he didn't have to say it that way.

"Well – I – er -" Ron coughed and cleared his throat. "You told me she's had a few boyfriends, right? She probably knows the difference between a good snog and a fake one."

Oh. Right. He does have a very good point. I began to wonder what she thought of the way I kissed him. I wondered if I could back to my old argument.

I know, stupid defense mechanism. Sue me!

"Merlin, this was doomed to fail from the start," I groaned. "I'm sorry. Maybe I should just go and tell her everything. I mean I obviously wasn't thinking. Faking a relationship when we have a relationship expert in the house doesn't seem like a great idea."

"Have I ever told you that you talk too much?" Ron asked.

"Many times over!" I growled. "Exactly what is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you are over-thinking things," Ron said, "Just like you usually do."

I sigh. I admit it, he had a good point. Damn, it looked as if my original argument was not going to win out.

"Well, what else can we do?" I asked. "If we can't manage a convincing snog -"

His hand gently caressed my cheek, silencing me. His piercing blue eyes were looking into mine, and I couldn't help but lose myself in them.

"You definitely talk too much," he said.

Before I could give my usual snappy retort only reserved for Ron Weasley, he was kissing me. Ron Weasley, my best friend, was kissing me! I mean, I know I kissed him earlier, but I didn't give him a chance to kiss me back! And now he was kissing me!

Okay. I admit it. I have fantasized about this moment for quite a while. I always wondered how he would kiss me. Unfortunately I've witnessed too many snog sessions between him and Lavender and they had given me a pretty good idea.

However, the way he was kissing me was nothing I'd ever witnessed between him and Lavender. It was like the kiss Viktor gave me. It was gentle, sweet and absolutely no tongue.

I quickly got over my shock and started moving my lips in response against his. Merlin, I never expected him to kiss me like this. Okay, I never expected him to kiss me at all! Especially after the way I pecked him on the lips earlier. I thought he was disgusted with me.

And then... before I was ready, and before I wanted him too, he was backing away.

"I definitely think we need to talk about the guidelines of this fake relationship," I muttered; Merlin help me, I couldn't keep my eyes off of his lips!

"Tomorrow," he said, then yawned hugely, "I'm quite tired. Good night, Mione."

Then he stood up and left my bedroom. Before I could even give him a snappy retort about the use of that nickname!

Or another kiss.

I sat there, on my bed, staring at the door Ron had closed behind him. And as I munched on another slice of pizza, I realized I didn't care whether he called me Mione or not.

Over the next few minutes, my mind was a blank as I began changing into my pyjamas. I set the still half-full pizza box on my desk, ignoring my thoughts about my room being a pig sty. Then I turned off my light and climbed into bed. And as I stared at my ceiling which gradually became more visible as my eyes started getting used to the darkness of my room, a voice in the back recesses of my mind was once again asking me whether or not I wanted more than a fake relationship with Ron Weasley.

I managed to ignore it as sleep claimed me.

* * *

**Well, okay. This chapter was going to be a lot longer. Originally, there was going to be some events of the following day. But I decided to end this chapter with the end of the first day of the story instead. Besides, the title of the chapter makes sense with only this scene, and not what else that would follow.**

**I know it probably didn't answer any questions you might have had as a result of the previous chapter. But we got to see Ron's response – a kiss of his own. Also... originally that was going to be the first kiss between the couple, but my muse decided to disagree.**

**I know, I know... I could ignore my ideas and have the couple admit to each other exactly how they feel! But I am going to keep them oblivious to the feelings of the other, and just have them think everything that is happening is in the pretenses of their "fake relationship". Why, you ask, as you mutter that I must be going mental. I only answer with this: what I have already planned is so much better, and the wait – how ever long it may be – is so worth it.**

**For now, I hope you liked this chapter. I'd like to get your opinions and reviews. I accept constructive criticism, but mostly good reviews... free of charge!**


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